The Beginning

Do you ever look back on your life and wonder what happened? Or think about yourself five years ago and feel like you should introduce yourself to that person you used to be? This blog is really just a way to record the up and downs of raising a wonderful little boy who is going to struggle with cerebral palsy and yet the journey began  long ago. And every twist and turn of it prepared us for where we are today.

It's been almost seven years ago now that I married my one true love and as we stood and made our vows to each other everything was rosy and perfect. Amazing jobs, a perfect little apartment, good health and lots of love. We settled into living the dream. We often felt that life was almost too perfect.

Shortly before our second anniversary we decided that we really wanted a baby. I worried that this would be the missing piece to the perfect life. But no almost instantly it seemed we were pregnant and soon found out we were expecting a little girl. We were ecstatic! Ten and a half months later (yeah she was a late one) our beautiful, healthy baby girl was born. We brought her home and couldn't believe how perfect our lives were.

Almost a year later my husband became very ill. Every night he would toss and turn with a high temperature only to have it break in the wee hours of the morning. Test after test was done. The doctor told us it was either a virus, chrohns or lymphoma. I immediately dismissed the idea of the latter two assuming that this was merely a virus. Eventually the decision was made to surgically examine his abdomen. We met with the surgeon prior to the surgery and I asked him what he thought we were looking at. He looked me in the eyes and calmly said I'm 99% sure that he has lymphoma. He then told us to take as much time as we needed in the exam room. I looked at him in disbelief and followed him out as soon as he turned, Why did he think I would want to stand in some examining room? 

I made it to the elevator before I dissolved into tears. This wasn't what I signed up for. This wasn't the way life was suppose to go. My enthusiastic husband held me and told me this was our trial. This was our time to shine. God had never deserted us before and he was not going to now either. Sure...sure I thought. Awesome...awesome. Over the next few days I tried to readjust my attitude. And in my best moments could say I trusted that God would prepare us for whatever was ahead.

When the surgeon came out and told us that my husband did not have Lymphoma but did have Chrohns I could not have been more certain of God's grace and faithfulness. Over the next few months/years we have learned that Chrohns has its own level of trial but for the time all was well in my world. And that is just the beginning of the story. God's goodness in spite of my lack of faith and understanding seems to be a reoccurring theme.